Are you okay, Boomer?*

I have been trying to instill fear grammar into my young charges. It has been difficult. Some of my colleagues think it’s because of technology; others think it’s because their parents don’t value reading or writing.

I think the Middle School Mafia is trying to break us and take over the Factory.

So it warmed my teeny-tiny crabapple of a heart to hear two boys discussing grammar as one finished his homework.

“It needs a comma.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. If you leave it out, it’s ‘okay boomer’ like they’re good boomers. But with the comma, it’s sarcastic like ‘Okay, boomer!'”

Now I’m apprehensive about reading the homework. I’m not that old!


*I came up with the title by imagining what a “concern troll” would say. I’m doing my part to destroy the usage by saying to seventh and eighth graders, “OK, boomer.” Because nothing takes all the fun out of something cool like having your teacher use it.

 

Conversations: The Homestead Edition

Overheard while visiting relatives:

Him: “I don’t know what it is – I just don’t have the energy and pep I used to have.”

Her: “Maybe it’s because you’re 81.”

Him: “Right. I’ve never been 81 before.”

Her: “No, you have. You’ve never been 81 for so long.”