As faithful readers know, I am a Quality Control Inspector at the Young Human Factory. Some of you may remember that two years ago, my assignment was altered so that not only do I inspect the late-stage production of young humans, but I deal with the delightfully defective* Middle Schoolers.
Yes, my nemesissies. (I’m not sure if that’s the proper plural of nemesis, but it ought to be.) The Middle School Mafia have brought me many things over the years, including eggs, mudpies, and now attempted murder.
There I was, inspecting the widgets, when one of the females kicked away her classmate’s desk – with said classmate still in it. The child-propelled desk slammed into my thigh just below my hip.
Yes, that hip.
Honestly, the pint-sized assailant is shaping up to be one of the best students this year. I just hope she can be realigned away from mayhem and murder.
* To you who protest “they aren’t defective,” I must ask you: have you met any recent Middle Schoolers? According to the custodian who cleans the bathrooms, they urinate on the walls near the ceiling. And the girls’ bathroom is worse.