Last night I took out the screens – a job I’d planned to do next weekend. ¡Que será, será! I scrubbed them down in the bathtub and left them standing to dry. Then I hosed off the windows, the porch, and the front of the house – all under the cover of darkness, just in case the creeps were checking for my reaction. I finished after midnight.
It rained heavily, but even this morning the evidence told a story of Mean Things Dumb Kids Do.
They used at least two dozen eggs, judging by the number of shells on the roof and yolks on the front porch. It’s annoying that the yolks bleached spots on the concrete, but maybe in the spring I’ll paint or stain it something nice.
It appears they egged the roof first and then, emboldened, they ran right up to the porch. Not the most athletic bunch, either: They hit the underside of the porch roof and the floor, but only two eggs hit the door. That’s 16.7% accuracy overall. Definitely benchwarmers.
I could lament Kids These Days, but there have always been losers and mean people. There are adults who key people’s cars over a bad parking job. There are grown-ups who get a thrill recounting how they ripped someone off or played a mean trick on a person with disabilities. Heck, just thinking about how some people behave during and after funerals puts me at the edge of despair.
Then I find something better to think about.
As for the neighborhood hooligans, my only deterrence plan is to leave the lights on all Friday and Saturday nights – and probably during school holidays as well. I’ll ask the neighbors to do the same if they leave town.
I’m not going to change my weekend plans. I’m sure that most of the kids will grow up and find better things to do. Of course, that One Guy – you know, the Guy Who Got the Biggest Thrill of His Life – will do something again, probably Homecoming night or another time when he’s home alone.
Perhaps he’ll get creative and throw toast or bacon.
The Salt on NPR: “Why The US Chills Its Eggs And The Rest of The World Doesn’t”