Back on the Internet, or The More Things Change etc.

That was (relatively) painless.** I now have superior Wi-Fi service in the house.

That means faster and more reliable nonsense will be flowing from La Casa de Tontería.

That means there’s no longer a blinking modem perched like a red-eyed vulture on a teetering pile of books.

It means that the original owner/builder – politely known as “Jerkface McGuyver” – threw another lemon my way, but I made lemon cake. (Want to refresh yourself on Mr. McGuyver’s nonsensical design? Start  here.) 

Internet service in the House of Nonsense had been problematic, to say the least. Besides the phone wires outside being old and temperamental in bad weather – not unlike my agéd father’s knee – there are just two phone jacks.

A sensible person would have put phone jacks in the kitchen or living room.  However, McGuyver was that rare breed of builder who walked a different path. A rambling path that swerves into bogs and falls into chasms on its way to the City of Chaos in the County of Dementia.  I’m just lucky the phone jacks aren’t behind the toilet or dangling from a ceiling.

I had resigned myself to a modem taking up valuable space and its wires either tripping me or hurting my sense of aesthetics. I even considered crawling below the house and attempting to determine which wire to cut, where to drill a new hole through the floor, and how to cause the least amount of damage.

But that was before Mr. Technician arrived, smelling of sweat and ingenuity.  He trod carefully around in enormous Red Wing boots, looking at Mr. McGuyver’s jerky set-up, and he didn’t even blink.

His solution?  He hid the wireless modem and its back-up battery under a piece of furniture. It’s invisible! It seems as if La Casa de Tontería is NORMAL!

**It wasn’t entirely painless: I stubbed toes while moving furniture.